.

and for once in my lifetime, i actually hated the existence of the backspace button. especially when i see myself hitting on it numerous times.

lost

a small little conversation made me realised that perhaps, it's good not to rush things. let nature take its course. we can never force an animal to speed up the growing process. cuz if we do, it'll lose its taste and beauty of life.

we often try not to regret on the decisions we made in this short life. however, we do encounter certain instances when we start to regret on the decisions we make. and it's almost certainly similar to lies. with the first lie spouted, comes the second to cover the first.

in the many life stories i've encountered recently, i've learn how to weigh the odds in a more preferred way. with every bombardment of the disadvantages, the human mind might bend into believing that disadvantages. try doing the same thing but in a situation whereby you try bombarding it with advantages.

but then, when confusion struck, we're just like a compass with its needle spinning in all directions. and with this desperation to break free from this confusion, we begin to search for answers, not knowing which is the right and which is the wrong answers. everyone will have their fair share of the pie on getting lost in their ways and thoughts. it's just so coincidental that all of us will be getting lost together.

i wonder if i'm lost, will anyone come searching for me to retrieve me from my losses?

well well well, another thoughts for me to think about for the next few days.

9 more days. Singapore River Regatta.
ready and reach!

owl

the lack of sleep over the weekend is taking a toil on my sleeping clock. hi, it's 2am, and i'm blogging. and it's IS tmr, 8am lesson.

anyway, some updates over the weekend. had a sumptuous dinner with family at malaysia. it's been awhile we last had a family outing like this. just my parents, siblings and me. away from grandparents and maid. and as usual, i'm the driver despite the fact that i barely had enough sleep. 12hrs out of the 48 hrs? maybe.

oh ya. i forgot to mention our chicken rice feast at beach road. man i tell ya. we order half white chicken and half roasted chicken. added char siew, roast pork and a plate of veg. each of us had 2 servings of rice. total cost of meal? 32bucks. damn worth it ah. that's how much 5 guys can eat after training. lol.

speaking of training, what was spoken, kinda stirred something in me. this might be my last, or maybe second last race before ns. judging at the team's performance, i think we might be able to make it. and after not running for about a month after my napha, i decided i should start running again. i'm looking into stretching my miles, not just limiting myself till running to batok. who knows? maybe one day i'll try running till jurong town hall!

and in this month, i've witness joys, witness sorrows. i've witness the unification of 2, i've witness the fall of 2. i've seen the many future planning, i've seen some dark sides of man. i've seen ppl smiling, i've seen ppl shedding tears. indeed, october has been a dramatic one for the ppl around me. ppl should have fun in this oktoberfest! and i'm just glad that i went thru it with much ease. i'm thankful. =)) i've also witness the utmost desire for changes. the pure determination. and how these determination might be viewed as an irritation to some. but still, determination is not cheap. not many even have a single teaspoon of it.

but trust me. november's gonna be even greater to be in. supposing that things pretty turns out the way i predict. and in less than 2 weeks time, the most anticipated day for SPC is here. and ahoy, the greatest and largest expenditure to date for me will be here soon. i'm excited. stay tune and let me boast about it when the time comes.

til then guys. have a great wednesday.

((=

fire.

i need it.
and i want it.
even if it means going through muscle tears,
or broken bones,
i have to try.

it's a promise for success.
and i have to do it.
mind over body,
the body does not rule the mind.

train hard. see results.
don't think. just do it.
don't think. just row.
don't think. just focus.

take the lead,
and extend that lead.

and today, is the day i reflect on my progress.
how much have i improved?
how much have i progressed?
and today, is the day my limits will be tested.
tested for the ultimate battle.

from the 18th to the 19th.

i'm addicted to this rather old song for days. been replaying em' all the time!

and let's talk about the late night 18th till early 19th.

poked in the ass!

the promises.

and our phone!

went far east, after which, walked to cine for our movies with some friends as well. lust and caution. kinda long winded, tho there's some parts worth laughing and talking about. ha! go watch it. but don't take into account of the story line. focus much of your attention to the minor details of the scene. lol

after movie, pub. which kinda explains my absence for today's proj day. i really did sleep well after that couple of drinks. plus the rain, oh man. it's hard to resist the temptations! hahas.

my bank statement came and i was shock to see how much i've spent the past few months.

till then, see you guys!

=()

wrist injury.

damn.

what's worse when i don't even know how it came about.

things are like a puzzle. and now, the picture is complete.

=))

FOR SALE!

i'm thinking of selling my psp. cuz am planning to either get an ipod vid or probably wait for ps3, and am still aiming for that samsung lcd tv. hmm.

any takers? used only for 3 months and still in tip top condition with no scratches! white in colour and package includes a 4GB card. version 3.51 which means you can play both downloaded games, as well as the latest versions of UMD games! any bidders? e-mail me at iam-spencer@hotmail.com.

maybe we're trying, trying too hard... hmmm...

and each time i turn to this, it brings me to my world of deep thoughts. so real. so true. happiness lingers. yet it seems that something is missing. a simple click of search, didn't respond to my quest. perhaps the answer that i'm searching for ain't in any search engine. the problem lies in the configuration of my thoughts. and why spencer, why are you so different these days?

and smile. it's the 14th!

=))

golden lifestyle

i love gold!

whoo. very the nice. i like.

=))

random rantings.

i want a ps3!

and the search for the understanding of men and woman continues. you'll be surprised at how much one is opposite to the other.

ooh yea..

memories

it feels so good to dig out the stuffs which contained bulk of memories of my secondary school days! flipped thru' class photos, year books. talking bout different ppl, gossiping about others whom are not very much good in the things they do. laughed at some of them. recalling names of friends. but the most enjoyable part is seeing how much we've all grown over the years. looking at pictures of us while in sec 1, moving on to sec 2 and now. our cca photos. sports day. cross-country. i pretty much miss my sec sch days. those fond memories. my mischievous days with teachers. some pretty good teachers that impacted my life in a great way.

and i'm all about you, baby. =))

wheels!

ooh my! i'm so crazy over vintage cars recently. that i actually surfed the net in search of some of my most desired vintage! ain't the morris mini a beaut? even the vespa too! ooh. old school vintage. i like. =))

so much for vintage, i still do however like to show you what's my next few in line which i've developed a indescribable feeling to. ha!

Volkswagen Golf GTI. whoo.

Nissan Murano. big is nice.

Lexus LS450. ultimate in luxury.

Volvo XC90. look at its bulk!

Audi TT

Toyota Camry

Mercedes CLS Coupe. i love its sleek design.

Toyota Estima. ooh ooh.

The new EVO X! damn nice la!

BMW 6 Series. BMW never fails to come up with something impressive.

Mazda CX-7. the first mazda that i actually fall in love with.

Toyota Mark-X. nothing special bout this actually.i just like its engine in this small cabin size. V6 engine.

Subaru Impreza WRX STI. Rally champion car.

yes, i'm a car fanatic. but i do love bike as well!

Yamaha R1. i like its headlights!

Suzuki GSX-R. nice.

so, after seeing the audition, who wants to buy ANY one of these for me?

*prays hard*

home!

and after 2 nights, i'm back home! didn't do much over the weekend basically. spent our time eating, sleeping. visited wild wild wet, changi village, geylang for dim sum, not forgetting the airport runway which i've been yearning to go for a very long time alr. i simply love planes. being on the ground for my entire life, have taken a toil on me physically, mentally and emotionally. flying makes me high. it makes me happy. which explains why i love drinking. and puffing. high!

and we finally got our new phone! sony ericsson's k810i! damn nice, and it's red in colour. that's besides the point as the main thing is, rong and myself have the same phone! in the same colour! =))

mum complained and nag at me for swiping a total of 400bucks on the supp card last month. she threatened to confiscate it if i overspend my money. but seriously, i didn't overspend! she started nagging more when i ask her to supp another standard chartered card for me. whoo, don't singaporeans love benefits, discounts, privileges, and priority treatment.

love. why restrain both parties when both do truly love each other? we all know that it could be human nature that we only realise our mistakes when we really lose something we love. but don't we know that it's also human nature that sometimes, we only realise that we do love that something only when we start to lose it. if you guys get what i mean. choosing to live in total misery, or choosing to live in misery with at least some pinch of happiness. which will you choose? it ain't easy to find someone you'd truly wanna be with. it's gonna be tougher to maintain the elements of a rs. but yet, it is often very easy to break the relationship that is still as fragile as a thin plate of glass. it takes 2 hands to clap. very much like chopsticks which comes in a pair. everything is suppose to look and be perfect in pairs. just like we have a pair of eyes, ears. a pair of nostrils. hands and legs. even our butts are separated into 2 but we need both sides to sit! so my dearest buddy, don't give up on chances yet. have you ever thought that maybe this is the destiny that is long written even before we're born? the destiny to go thru this, as a pair? =))

but yet, the outward expression of being happy could not mean anything. the thing is, happiness, is still the unseen spirit that does not have a definite formula for us to calculate on, predicting where it can be sought from.

so, are you satisfied with your happiness level?

till then guys, see you. =))

this song have been on my mind the entire day. nice tune and meaningful lyrics. =)

k.

it's a day filled with the K's around. Kenny rogers for dinner, and K box for entertainment. and got KO after the entertainment. a short night, that dived right into the early morning, but fun. =))

i had a weird dream last night. something scary. ha. but yea. big boys nightmare. hahas!

those thoughts bombardment thingy is kinda killing me. i refuse to submit to it. at least, am still trying. when you're stuck in this confusion, the desperation to break free is huge. why? i don't know why.

passion.

many hearts, one soul on fire.

=))

penny for thoughts

where does it come from, this quest?
it's a need to solve life's mysteries or the questions can never be answered.
why are we here?
what is the soul?
why do we dream?
not learning.
not yearning.
but that's not human nature.
nor the human heart.
that, is not why we are here.

yet still we struggle to make a difference.
to change the world.
to dream of hope.
never knowing of certain who we'll be along the way.
who among the world of strangers will hold our hand.
touch our hearts.
and share the pain of triumph.

we dream of hope.
we dream of change.
fire, love and of death.
then it happens.
the dream becomes real.
and the answers to this quest, it's need to solve life's mysteries finally shows itself.
like a glowing light of a new dawn.

so much struggle for meaning.
for purpose.
and then the end, we find the meaning in each other.
our shared experience of the fantastic, and the mundane.
the simple human need to find the answers, to connect.
and our hearts,
we are not alone.

happy meal.

i took my little baby out to town today. it's just me, and him. talking bout father-ly love huh. lol. after town, brought him to KAP mac for his happy meal. here's a pic of him and his magnolia milk. damn adorable! =))

my another grown-up baby came to meet us after her lessons at KAP too. we cabbed back to my place cuz the little one, poo-ed. and i forgot to bring extra pampers. he stained his pants which in turn, stained the cab's seat. and the adult baby had to wipe it clean with tissue papers. hahas!

poor little baby. he was so tired when he reached home. that when he sat on his baby chair, he have his head leaned on the table. just like the way i would sleep in class. so damn funny la! my entire family is like laughing. hahas. but well well well, this lil boy sure did have fun going out with me. i'm like his father. haha!

i need to stop eating excessively and continue running. it's not the time for me to grow fat. ha!

i always hated digging up my past and re-examine it once again. but today was not something which i deliberately dug up. i'm beginning to hate the "what ifs" in my daily pondering. no, it does not do me any good. =))

whatever it is, some memories are worth keeping. some not. just like when i had supper with mark and john, my sec sch buddies. and they still do remember my sec sch nicknames! which is something that it's worth keeping tabs on. ha!

and it's getting late. time to join my big baby in lala-land.

nights to all!