hello!

had this PPP thingy in sch today. so boring! so i spend my time playing psp with my friends. ha!

the little talk about my past with rong, made me feel better at least a little. but then again, reflecting back, if someone wants to spoil and screw everything up, i can't stop it. after all, perhaps i should admit that it's my mistake for leading things on to a wrong direction. i should've known earlier. to control myself. and this time, i'm not gonna make such mistakes anymore.

till date, rong is still precious. and she will always be. =)

hi everyone!

a dozen things on my mind. it's been a while i last took a drive up to the airport's runway late at night. the best place to tidy up my library of thoughts and enjoy the cool breezy night with jet roars filling the echoes of the sky. i'd always try to outrun planes taking off or touching down. the gravity of this world is very pressurizing. i'd love to fly. away from the steps of the ground. perhaps life at midair feels much better than here.

=))

i skipped school today. fatigue is winning the battle inside of me. and of course, i had this little time for myself in the afternoon. it's been ages i last watch discovery channel on a weekday afternoon! more so on watching telly on a weekday. hahas. i kinda missed my tv watching days. my relationship with my tv is drifting apart. =( lol

with regards to my previous post bout marriage and child bearing, i've actually received comments about it! hahas. loyal readers loyal readers. candace the spy and yuling, the ex neighbour. well, marriage is more than just what you guys would think. more so for child bearing. no doubt i love kids. they're adorable, they bring the kiddy out of the adults and stuffs. it's a commitment that's gonna last us for about the next 20years? speaking of which, i didn't even think that singapore is a conducive environment to have kids. c'mon, the gahment have been encouraging ppl to give birth. but do you think it's a good place to have kids here? IF i EVER want to have kids (haha) , i'll never wanna have it here. financial security, job security, the pressure that this society brings. why bring a life here to suffer? hahas. jkjk. aiyya, no one understands ah.

i tried picking up a newspaper to read yesterday. and it seems that i couldn't read at all. i think i lost my drive to keep up with the news. but gossips still works best for me. hahas. my community's tabloids. lol.

any job to intro me? i wanna work from 29sept-14oct. that's the only holiday i'm having.

perhaps, some things are better left unsaid. curiosity kills. all these while, i've been controlling myself not to ask too much questions. cuz i never wanted to have many questions coming straight at me. but then, thinking about it, it takes mutual understanding to get something going. i recently told an old friend that every relationship has got their own share of problems. (when i say relationship, it means all sorts of human relationships). it took me quite awhile to begin asking myself. if that is the case, what will our problems be? everything seems perfect till date, everything is good so far. i'm thankful for that. once we've found the solution to our problems, we thought that's the end of it. but the thing is, do we have the eyes to see our problems again?

i can't wait for graduation day. rong had just secured herself a job after her graduation at SP on the coming feb. so good la. i still gotta work cheaply for the gahment for 2 years. by the time i'm out of army, she is like don't know how many times richer than me. ha! speaking of which, she suggested going taiwan after graduation. that's why i need moneyyyyyyyyyyyyyy so baaaaaaaadllllllllllllllyyyyyyyy. i don't even know if i have the time to go not. sadded. i so want to travel la! =(

time to hook onto my psp, rest awhile more, then off for training. my pretty little thing is working her ass off again tonight. till 2am. happy working!

i miss you suddenly! ha.

if there's one wish i'd love to have, it'll be to stop the time right at the moment where i.............

the long walk of the corridor of life have made me witness first hand of the many twist and burns of life, seeing impossibilities coming to life, the common and the uncommon, the unexplained and the eerie stuffs, and many more.

as i stroll along slowly, i decided to stop and knock at some doors. some were opened to me, and i took a quick glance at what's inside that door, others took me quite a while to appreciate what's inside that door, some did not open their doors, some allowed me into that door but i refused that entry, and there are some that decided not to even knock on that door. same environment that we all lived in, different lives behind that same grade of doors. ultimately, it is only one door that i'll take off my shoes and walk into it.

curiosities were thrown to us about its beginning. they couldn't catch any ball. it's understandable. everything is understandable. perhaps it takes time for ppl to fully accept the twists of life. and like i said, the weird commodities of this walk through the corridor of life. the mini sharing under the tiny hood of a hyundai, the slow process of discovery, integrating into the community of this corridor of life and witness some dramas behind these doors.

of the words i said, not all were true. it is this door that i took off my shoes and walked in, and it will be this very door that my shoes will be left to rot. 2 types of promises there are. valued promises and empty promises. to some, promises are just words. to others, it means a big deal to comfort, and assurance. likewise, the promises behind that closed door is what i have for that house.

i pretty like the way things are now. and i will work harder in decorating my new found home. =)

i'm beginning to wonder if i've overloaded myself with commitments. the thought of having my entire week burnt is dreadful for me. argh. nvm, after race, i'll have more time when training stops for about 2 months. am looking forward to my only 2 weeks of holiday. i need my precious sleep. =(

some photos taken recently.

mum bought this tiger outfit for this little boy to wear. hahas! so cute. it has got this tail behind him and whenever he walks, the tail actually swings around! lol

he's "emo-ing" lol!

a DJ wannabe.

aww.

is marriage a necessity? child bearing? what you think guys.

ha. see you guys around. =))

sleep

ha! a bus trip home made me realised the size of this world. small is the exact word to describe it. what a small world! met my miss-old-neighbour on the bus, and she asked where am i working at. and so i told her, and it turns out that one of my colleague, which is also a friend's friend of mine, is working there too! i think maybe i should gather all my friends, from close friends to distant friends, or friends of friends, then we identify those that we know! we'll be surprise that in every friendship lies a unknown secret link to another friendship. hahas!

i survived life without sufficient sleep. had a total of 4hrs of sleep within my past 48hrs. what i did in this 48 hrs. hmm. fri, slacked at home, worked at night overnight. after finishing work in the early morning of sat, training at kallang, had lunch with the SPC ppl at suntec, went home and slept for 2 hrs before helping out at some event at harry's place and at jurong. after that, mahjong til 4plus in the morning, went home to sleep for another 2hrs, training at kallang again, lunch and a short debrief with SPC ppl at beach road, went to meet baby at ang mo kio hub, walked around, had dinner at batok, and now, here i am, home sweet home. shag~

race schedule and sittings will be out next week. 6 categories of race with 2 teams each. training today was rather tiring, and tough for most of us. but good training. warm ups, sprints and endurance test-water. for once, i kinda wished i was left on shore to rest. i have this ache on my back, and my ugly and red tanned body lines.

race in about 3weeks time. endurance training for me everyday til the last week to race. i'm not gonna let my body set the limits. my mind will decide on its limits. mind over body. success soars with a willing mind. =)

my week's schedule been packed like sardines. i'll be like super busy next week la.
mon: vpp, gym
tues: vpp, work, gym.
wed: vpp, training.
thurs: vpp, work, gym.
fri: vpp, gym.
sat: training, work.
sun: training.

i so much want to spend more time with her. now i realised that time is precious. after race, i'll have more time. =)

that's all folks!

bored!

i'm so bored at home! i slept too much today. ha!

anyway, i had this weird dream last night. all i can say is that, some dreams are not meant to be. you know, i have this thing about dreams. it's kinda eerie. some of the dreams that i dreamt while asleep, actually happened sometime in the future. deja vu. it happened numerous times already. not like once or twice. that's why i get so uptight whenever i dreamt of something bad.

but as for last night, it wasn't any bad dream or stuffs. but then i guess, some dreams are not meant to be. maybe it feels good whenever these impossibilities appear in a dream like this. a taste of visual imagination replacing reality. =))

trip's cancel. i realised that the voucher is gonna cost alot more than if we book online. i so wanna travel. =( lol.

on a lighter note, i'd still get to go with parents at the end of the year tho. mum said i can take rong along. ha!

i'm so so so bored la! my bones are softening already. damn nua.

companies have resort to dirty tricks to make money. like in the case of odex. expecting compensation from downloaders who downloads their licensed anime. 5000 bucks i think? does an anime cost that much? can't make money by selling? so it's right to make money from lawsuits. but why the donwloaders? why not just the uploaders? so, keep this in mind. if your company can't make money, go sue people. ha!

i know what i can do already! i'll go down and rent some dvds! see ya guys!

desperation

watched a classic film today. blood brothers. totally old skool underworld show based in shanghai. dressing was classic, guns were classic, even the gunshots too! hahas.

it's always nice to bump into old friends. i guess as we grow older, we've got our many commitments to submit to.

a little chat with an old neighbour kinda made me realised that this is a small world indeed. all of our social circle kinda connect each other's! ha.

i spend my early afternoon listening to some old, classic english songs from my old woman. ha! we had our dinner at this coffee shop where they played classic and old hokkien songs! i find them very nice, and i can sing almost all of them! hahas. age has caught up with me. she suggested singing with her mum. oh my.

and soon, it's back to my daily routine. school school school.

thanks for taking me to the other side of the world.

hello everybody!

exams are over! and i have the entire week to enjoy before i roll back into school for VPP. sadness. ha!

anyway, i think enough of the speculation game and stuffs. i wasn't trying to avoid answering questions about me being attached and stuffs. all the "for me to know and for you to find out" thingy should come to an end. i'm so sorry that it kinda made you look "transparent". but that wasn't what i meant in the first place.

anyway, it's sooner or later that i gotta leak this out. so i was thinking, why not now? some of my closer buds have already kinda figured out. thus' explaining the term, "for me to know, for you to find out". and they really did find out! lol.

anyway, some stuffs about us. we were classmates back then in secondary school. though we weren't close, but yea, we were classmates back then. we did dnt as well. one of the subjects that we kinda dreaded the most. went thru the rantings, shoutings and arguments with mdm chang in chinese lessons. even witness first hand of mdm chang's unshaved armpit! ha. and many more.

it was a simple start for us which she terms it as me being cheeky. but i'm naive okay! like losing fats through open wounds. lol. the very one night i'm not gonna forget is the night we spent at vivo roof area overlooking sentosa, the night sky and the cable cars. trying to dump each other into the pool, laughed all the way from vivo to mrt station to harbour front interchange. so much so that we forgot that we need to top up her ez link card at the mrt station when we board the bus home. and many more.

our journey thus' far have been simple, but sweet. it made me realised that having certain significance in a rs doesn't mean the rs can last. ultimately, it is not going to be the significance that this rs is kept alive. no, it doesn't work that way. the working force for any rs to work out is not about the materialistic significance. so what if "fate" shows its face to bring us together time again and again? we must know that "fate" will turn its back against us one day. plus i guess in the case of human rs, decisions plays a major role, not "fate".

i went thru my last break up with much hatred and frustration with the ppl who weren't even in the picture at all. my explanations are suppose to be done by me alone. not by ppl who do not know the entire pic. the one that angers me the most is some ppl, in order to protect its ass, create some story which made me look like the bad guy. and it's cuz of this, my explanations were pushed aside. i spent my days drinking, picked up smoking. and made major mistakes. when these mistakes slapped me in my head, i told myself, enough is enough. stop doing things to show. this ain't the kind of guy that spencer is.

i'm sorry for my every mistakes during this period. this guilt have haunt me until this very day. on the day i got tgt with rong, i told myself, i ought to put everything down, including forgiving myselves for the mistakes i've done and move on. and i moved on til this very day.

i'm glad that these mistakes slapped me in my head. cuz i'm a happy boy today. her unexpected, yet gentle caring heart is what i loved about her. i don't feel uptight at all. the small and simple surprises works well for both of us too. she have met my parents alr, so far so good. =)

i'm happy that exams are over. and we can finally meet up. rong came over to play with my little baby at home, and watched some movies before meeting my dear friend roy at jurong point to accompany him get some stuffs. i'm so happy for him to see him so deeply in love. =) went malaysia with rong for our late dinner. she played bomberman on my psp while having a slight jam at the causeway got her screaming around in the car whenever she "dies". ha! i smiled blissfully. had a huge portion of stingray, kang kong, fried kway teow and sugar cane. cheap cheap. total only RM32 ringgit! kang kong was bad. stingray is ok. fried kway teow is the best! i love malaysia's food. =) surprisingly, mum didn't scold that i took her car to malaysia. hahas! next time can go again! hhahas.

next up, i need money. to save up to go bangkok with her at mid-october. mum gave me this one-plus-one voucher to bangkok. i told her i'll be going but i haven't told her with who. i need money. more money. for the trip and for my bloody case. !@#$%^

too long winded. here's some photos taken few weeks back at some pub over at chinatown. =)

simple and sweet. i like. =)

=))

blog song changed! everyone turn on your speakers and blast it! damn nice. and let's get emo tgt. haa! i'm certified and licensed to be an emo boy! hahas. special technique special technique. emo but am a very happy boy! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

was having supper and had this chit chatting session with spider pig on sat night til 4am. and we actually witness 2 almost-to-be ah peks fighting. hahas. so childish! taxi drivers are like that. like to find trouble. so low class!

parents bought new air-con alr. am so so so happy. no more warm and sweaty nights. they almost bought a lcd tv for us la. sigh. didn't get it in the end.

i think when it comes to happiness, it's always best to decide for ourselves. there'll be ppl around who'll bring us down. who'll say things that will discourage us or demotivate us and stuffs. maybe the one thing we all gotta learn is not to get influence by those unnecessary comments. the past ain't gonna matter in terms of our future endeavors. i guess from this alone, i learn that what we are in the past, cannot fully predict how things will be in the future. the future is blur, as always been. the future is uncertain, unpredictable. yet in this uncertainties, at least we do have a future waiting for us to walk pass it.

and i'm glad to say that my deja vu really did came true. and i don't want it to end so soon.

it brings a smile to my face whenever i look at it.

thanks for everything. =))

*spencer humming to this song*

exams

one down, last to go. =)

nothing interesting recently. just the same old routine of sch, study, work, training, gyms and the meet ups with the many different ppl.

spent my last 2 nights studying over at a friend's place. such late night activities do spark the mental instability to react. but well, i guess it's all worth it after all. =))

relationships discussion over the study table have got it all rather intriguing to the mind. it left us leaning on our backs, scratching our heads looking for answers that no formulea could ever give us. maybe being an engineer makes us as a person who go step by steps.

i've calculated. and i've overspent this month. it's only the 17th, and i've already overspent. damn.

life's been a nut cracker for me recently. too much questions to answer. too much questions to ask. not forgetting the many questions that i'm avoiding to answer temporary. hahas. nothing beats the weary in me about that case. how am i to handle it? i don't know. i simply just don't know.

life's been great too! tho i'm down with sore throat and the occasional coughs late at night. and perhaps this is the one question that we're trying to avoid to answer. ha! i knew this had to be something different. and true enough, it is something different. perhaps i prefer such differences. having to go thru the same thing do make a person sick.

i spent a quarter of my afternoon hugging a mr bean's bear to sleep today. it was a short nap, and it can take me into a deep sleep. maybe it's only in places where we start to have ourselves sheltered under the wings of comfort will we be able to find peace. i'd beg to say that it's never about the physical fatigue. nothing beats the pleasure of soaking our very selves into the presence of our appointed source of joy.

simple and sweet. i like.

counting crows

"Accidentally In Love"

So she said what's the problem baby
What's the problem I don't know
Well maybe I'm in love (love)
Think about it every time
I think about it
Can't stop thinking 'bout it

How much longer will it take to cure this
Just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's love (love)
Makes me wanna turn around and face me but I don't know nothing 'bout love

Come on, come on
Turn a little faster
Come on, come on
The world will follow after
Come on, come on
Cause everybody's after love

So I said I'm a snowball running
Running down into the spring that's coming all this love
Melting under blue skies
Belting out sunlight
Shimmering love

Well baby I surrender
To the strawberry ice cream
Never ever end of all this love
Well I didn't mean to do it
But there's no escaping your love

These lines of lightning
Mean we're never alone,
Never alone, no, no

Come on, Come on
Move a little closer
Come on, Come on
I want to hear you whisper
Come on, Come on
Settle down inside my love

Come on, come on
Jump a little higher
Come on, come on
If you feel a little lighter
Come on, come on
We were once
Upon a time in love

We're accidentally in love
Accidentally in love [x7]

Accidentally

I'm In Love, I'm in Love,
I'm in Love, I'm in Love,
I'm in Love, I'm in Love,
Accidentally [x2]

Come on, come on
Spin a little tighter
Come on, come on
And the world's a little brighter
Come on, come on
Just get yourself inside her



was looking thru my music folders, and i found this song. kinda old, but still as nice to listen to once in a while. =)

i went to bed smiling. and i couldn't get to sleep, so i smiled the entire night til bout 4am. i woke up at 830am, smiling too. i took the bus with a smile. i did gym with a smile. even when i do my bench presses with my maximum weight of 60kg, i smiled too. i smiled while studying and mahjong. and i took a short nap of about 30mins.

i'm a happy boy!

ok, i think i'm crazy. going nuts and gaga over............

back to my piles of notes and tutorials. sigh.

smile everyone! it's the 14th!

=)))))))))))))

dreams

i began to ask myself again while on the bus. why do we dream? and what is its significance of these dreams? it lead me back to the point, where i really want my deja vu that badly. and now, thinking back, that desire just keeps burning.

watch secret today. not bad. you guys should watch it.

and i had fun laughing today. tho my legs are aching from all the walking and stuffs. my throat is feeling better alr, tho still a lil dry. thank goodness there's the honey water and the pi pa gao which was labeled smelly but i find it ok wat! and why am i born hairless on my arms and legs?! hahas

a day has end just like that. damn fast. and it's back to me and my revision for exams. i'm already on my holiday mood. ha!

all blacks hakka

i've this sudden interest in rugby. i guess i'll end up with a couple of broken bones. ha!

we've been thrown by this question yesterday. " how to build the morale of the team?" good question. time is short. 16 more sessions, and it's time for the test. just how? a very bonded team will just scare our opponents. look at the hakka. does it scare you?

when we feel under-performed, frustration kicks in. and when frustration kicks in, we will fail.

i swear. i will come back with my performance. tough times don't last. tough men do.

and and, i had my 12 hrs of sleep! wa shiok. ha

life is short!

life is indeed fragile. we will never know what happens next. who knows? today might be my last day on planet earth. i might just get knocked down by a bus or maybe, a robber who tried to rob me decides to rape me and kill me after that? lol.

but it's a fact that we all have to accept that nothing lasts forever. we may seems all so healthy at this very moment as teenagers, the prime time of our good healths. but there'll come a point where we'll be struck by the many illnesses which will slowly consume our lives like a free buffet dinner. i've heard of countless stories about ppl who refuses to have their condition checked simply because, going to a doc/specialist costs money. "and since, we're all born to die, why see the doc?" they'll say. prolonging our lifespan is not entirely impossible. but perhaps early detection of illnesses like chronic diseases, may help fight the unwanted illness by using the neccessary treatment.

the main thing here is, if we all know that we're going to die soon, how are we gonna live the rest of our days. that is the one question i never asked myself before. it was only until recently, when we were told that knowing we'll be dying soon, why not live the rest of my days with much happiness? however, we tend to live in depression knowing that our time is up. thus' not being able to live it to the fullest. life is short. too short to waste it on being unhappy. whatever it is, we gotta accept the fact that we're really born to die. the process however, is to die with no regrets, and to die with a smile on our faces. i think, maybe it's good that when we leave this world, we do not let the ppl ard us to cry on our deaths. instead, they'll smile on our deaths, knowing that we truly have lived thru a meaningful life. =))

i miss my sleep. i havent been able to sleep well lately and the insufficient sleep. i want my 12hrs sleep soon. =( badly.

i have this pain on my back. sava's in bout a month. i hope it's just an ache. nothing more pls.

i'll be there, to share the joys and pains.

friday!

fireworks. it brings out the kiddy side of everyone. i'm thankful that i lived in my current place where i can have the entire skies to myself. every national day, i can practically watch the fireworks from my window, i can see F-16s, chinooks and apache flying past my area. isn't that a luxury for me? =))

ndp celebration. it is more than a celebration. it also showcase something else. go figure it out!

and today's fri! i love weekends. =)
pub for awhile!
movie!
mahjong!

HAHAS

i just want my deja vu.
=)

sweet dreams

it's sweet. waking up with a smile, hoping that it will come true. some say dreams, are the unusual deja vu. some say, it's just a short moment for us to enjoy cuz it will never happen. for this, i want my deja vu.

training's been stepping up lately. competition in bout a month. the highlight of last night's training is, training with our eyes closed. hear the sound of every stroke. the synchronization. many individuals, a common goal. in a team, there shouldn't have any clashes. and i'm glad that this team doesn't have any. this is a strong team. oh yes, it is.

train hard, see results.

i've a dozen songs i wanna upload and share with you guys. but lazy...
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

and my son is back!!!!

rush hour 3, karaoke in the car, mahjong and mac breakfast is great!

881

took some time off to follow mum with aunt and uncle to watch the infamous/famous 881 movie. a local production. personally, i feel the show's kinda nice. especially if you're that type who likes canto/hokkien songs thingy. it has got good story lines too. =))

dreams. some strong ones, some silly ones. it can be a pushing factor for us. it can be a routine over time. what bout if we're struck by illnesses? sometimes, time will solve our problems. or so we thought. and sometimes, time will really solve our problems. what if we do not have enough time for it? life is short. there are a million things i wanna do if i can turn back time. we can escape from our realities. but can we escape the essence of time?

with these dreams of ours, do you think we will have time for love? what is love anyway? no one can fully grasp the meaning of it. is it a submission of each other? the tales of commitments and the feel of the soul? is it the attachment of one's heart to another? i've seen many kinds of love. went thru some myself which turned out kinda bad for me. what bout the love between ppl of the same interest? like the love between the 2 sisters in 881. with every touch, comes a particular meaning. with every drop of tears, represents different joy and pain. with every kiss, comes with different connections of the soul.

this is what i want. not trying any luck, am not gonna try any luck either. perhaps it sounds impossible. perhaps it looks impossible. i just know, i reaped what i sowed. with every diminishing hope, with every heavy heart, i know it's not gonna be here. am working hard, am training hard. all for the same purpose. to reach out longer to my dreams.

is it so hard to reach it?

or do i have to work harder. cuz i'm not seeing any results.

=\

=)

my next medal will be for you.

sincere.

exams

as the countdown timer kicks in, it's gonna cost me my sleep and much of the memory space in my head. damn, exam's in like 2 weeks time. the time where i dreaded the most. this year is kinda different. the past 2 years, i see exams as an entry to my holiday break. however, this year, the post-exams "reward" would very much be the VPP for my project. VPP= VACATION PROJECT PROGRAM. what in the world is that suppose to be. vacation project? they should call it VDP. vacation DEPRIVATION program. ha!

the lack of sleep over the past few days have made me skipped class and gym today. received a call to go to jin's place to study. supposedly. ended up, mahjong-ing. a time to wash tiles, crappings over the table and collect money. ha! after that, tea session with ping and charlotte. another round of nonsense and stuffs.

training's getting more intense lately. due to the fact that the next race is on september. which kinda explained how i got blisters, cuts and bruises on my feet and hands. was kinda surprised when i was told that we will be put into the team. another 47 days. either watch us die, or see us conquering that title. we will fight hard for it.!
i'm beginning to love this team. it has great and fun loving ppl there. the ppl are physically tough as well. my motivation.

air-com spoilt once again. just when i needed it the most, it kinda abandoned me. =(

give me 3 months, im'ma hit my 20 for pull ups. i'm sick of only able to do 15. it makes me look so sissy-fied. ha! JUST KIDDING! even the girls in the team can do 5 la! ha!

anyway, am helping a friend to sell a psp. used only a month, version 3.40OE i think. comes with a 4gb and 2 gb memory card with games in it, standard remote controlled earpiece, hard casing. basically everything la, or at least i am told. =) selling it at bout 400+. name the price and it's yours. c'mon! it's a good buy. in good condition with no scratches et-cetera. why wait? good deal man! 6 gb card lei! ha!

study study study.

mind

the human body is a machine that is made to work. it is never created to control. the mind is an intelligent machine that is made to think, to lead, to control. do not even allow the body's limitation to control the mind. that, is not its initial purpose. if it's created to work, then work hard. push the limits. it is not up to the body to say, "i give up". cuz, it is up to the mind.

the mind is strong. it must be strong. the mind is like a cockpit. if it fails, the entire system fails. mind over body. body over limits. push it, or lose it. do not let the body say, i cannot. and the mind must never say, "i can't".

pain, is weakness leaving the body. and the mind is to train it, and itself.

sava sprints 2007.

random thoughts

i think it is this impatience of mine that got things screwed. it's never gonna happen already.

and and, joining 2 teams isn't a good idea after all. talking about training clashes.

just when i'm feeling down, this came along. life is fair. =) it's too short to sigh, it's too short to frown. and it's obviously too short for us to even have enough fun!

all my presentations are over. FINALLY. i mean at least for this sem. i feel like a free man. with this huge boulder off my back. but, quiz next week, exams soon.

my heart crushed when they said, even my son can do it. i kinda regret for not speaking up. i know what to answer to the panels. but i kept quiet and let my friends do the talking. which i kinda regretted. and cuz of this, it's gonna cost us our grades for this sem. fuck. i screwed it all.

am trying hard. am waiting. and hoping. to prove my worth. i want to know, badly.

til then, =)

old friends

it's always nice to meet/bump into old friends occasionally. it makes you feel that time passes real fast, and of the changes we have made as individuals. not forgetting about the part when we starts to talk about the past that we used to share and through with. and also on the part about our future plans.

dim sum was good, tho i looked like a noob. desserts were weren't bad as well, while we sit and talk about stuffs and i listened on with a huge question mark on my head.

and i so want to be a banker as well! the pay's damn good la! a poly grad isn't gonna earn much. especially if we're talking about supporting a family in the future. c'mon, i'm a guy. wouldn't it be norm for a guy to be the breadwinner? and i seriously doubt that this diploma is gonna take me high up the corporate ladder. although, electronics are pretty much the "in-thing" in our daily lives.

a game of probability is not gonna get you rich. i've learnt that playing games with money, shouldn't be taken too seriously. we shouldn't resort to gambling as a way to make money. a close but yet distant family friend was crushed by tens of thousands of dollars in gambling debts. horse racing, underground casino, illegal bettings. so, mahjong will just be a game and a session for 4 ppl to sit in a square table, talking and doing some catching ups for me. i don't really care if i lose, or i win. it's the joy in it. the company. sometimes, the big achievements and stuffs. it's pretty exciting tho!

痛哭痛悲痛心痛恨痛失自己

只好等在来生里
再踏上彼此故事的开始

mind lost to some stuffs.