iris

good friends support each other after the humiliation.
great friends keep quiet about it pretending nothing happened in the first place.

good friends, offer to help in a crisis.
great friends, don't take no for an answer(when help is offered).

i met an old friend today. was kinda coincident actually. looking back, yes, it's been so long. was asking bout the whereabouts of that friend just this afternoon. never did i expect to bump my friend outside sch after class. out of curiosity, i asked why didn't i see you online for like months or even close to a year. the answer given was kinda thought-provoking to me. isolation. isolate to keep away from the entire world to prevent any change of heart in the relationship. my gawd. i just couldn't believe it. just earlier when i asked around, what i got was rumours of the dark secret which, i believe everyone does have at least a dozen to keep about oneself. not that i do not know about that particular dark secret(cuz we used to share about it openly and about how regretful we felt), but i just didn't know that the world out there knows about it. everyone have got their own share of dozens of deep dark secrets anyway.

it made me think but could not deny the fact that good stuffs/deeds are often unappreciated and mistakes/bad stuffs do move around fast. before you even catch a single breathe about it, the whole world knows about it already. and by then, it's too late for you to even do anything. i kinda feel for her. but perhaps it's something unavoidable that we just gotta accept it. all i can do and offer, is being there since isolation is the key to what my friend wanted. i kinda sense something is not right, or am i just being too sensitive. i just find it weird why a person who use to wear a broad smile and laughter whenever he/she goes but years later, it decided to keep itself isolated or wat. that's something weird. change, is undoubtedly a good thing. but it all depends on how we adapt to such changes. the approach that we use are often regarded as the best way by ourselves. not knowing if it really is the best and most practical way or could be something else is rather, er well, not really desirable for me. but then again, unless we don't even take a step towards it, we will not know about its ending or result at all.

billions of people living on this planet earth. millions of species of animals in this planet. nothing will be the same. we can never take a blueprint of ourselves to create another we. even by the technology of modern science such as cloning, we can never clone a person with the exact same personality. maintaining relationships with the people around us is actually not tough at all. think about it. how often do we complain or gossip bout our friends, family etc about how they treat us or handle certain stuffs and issues. how we perceive them to be as just cuz their lifestyle doesn't suit ours. ultimately, it is not up to us who have the power to judge. we're all not perfect beings(cuz there's nothing perfect to even start with). every single atom of this world is not made to be perfect. we see germs mutating into a infectious disease. even an antidote can be something poisonous. it's just like life. it seems essential and friendly to us this min, but who knows, by the next min, it turns its hands against us. to kick us down, to suppress us with enormous pressure that we can never break out of. still, we will see ourselves standing up and continue walking. we came into this world as humble beings. many left it with secrets hidden in their hearts. some hearts left this world the exact same colour as it was brought into here. some hearts turn black with their evil ways and conspiracy. others might have some other colours with an equal balance of both. or perhaps some other colour that we can never think of.

it just so happened that i was listening to a song, this lyrics actually bold itself.

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who i am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
And you bleed just to know you're alive

yea. something to think about. =))

spoken to mum last night and we talked about migrating. perhaps it's a good idea to get our ass out of this country. at least to somewhere that's not very stressful or wat. but er, never mind. lol. =)) cuz in this country, it's all about that paper. perhaps education might be a bad thing. never ever study too much. cuz the higher the monkey climbs up the education ladder, the more you see of his ass.

til then, see you guys. =))