old times. =))

did some catching up with some old friends yesterday. it's kinda funny huh. i mean, looking at what life throws at us. frankly speaking, it's kinda sad to see us once a leader in youth ministry to actually fall in the hands of the devil eventually. i mean not to say that we actually become small devils but er, we're still human. hypocrisy will always exist. we very much often tries to look and evaluate ourselves in the hope that we will not turn ourselves from a saint to a hypocrite. that is often not the case. yes, looking back, it is the times we shared that are dearly missed. but now, it is the shame that we dare not face from the day we decides to walk away.

c'mon think about it. how many left? quite a handful actually. and yes, what we say of ourselves may not be truly what we are actually am. life is unpredictable. and it comes with many different flavours. we cannot as to say that we are strong enough to face every flavour at the same time. it's just like food with different taste. taking many different flavours will cause a stomach upset eventually.

we have take life one step at a time. slowly indulge yourselves in the savouring of life's many kinds of flavours. be it the type that you do not like to taste, or those flavours that you favour on. ultimately, every taste of life that we go thru will be something meaningful to us. we may not see it now, but in the long run, we know how life actually taste like.

we may cry thinking and looking back at the fun that we had, all the screams and the jumpings. the encouragements and the reading. the food. the music. the singing. the serving. the helping. most importantly, the company. it's all memories. what we did not think about at that point of time is that, we will all one day grow up. the growing process will change a person's attitude along the way.

it's good to never be sad for anything that happens. while we're still in the midst of our losses, we still have the ability to think clearly. we may not be receiving directions from anyone or anything, but there will always be bread crumbs laying around the floor for us to pick up. we must understand that we're not the first person who is walking this journey. there are alot more ppl who've walked thru this, and they came out unharmed. they left the bread crumbs for us to pick up on, and of course, we can still have the pushing and encouragement from one another.

life is a process that we all have gotta go thru it. it's like a time table. every single being must go thru a certain flavour before he/she leaves this world. 4 years ago, i left the world many thought is perfect. i wanted to savour the kind of life outside. i cannot blame them for forcing me to leave. cuz it's my decision at the end. 4 years later, i realised that i'm not the only one who left. there are others who followed and shared the same views.

it's views that i wont want to talk about it anymore. be it in any world that we are, i still believe that we can be the same to each other like we were, 4 years ago. my previous world changed me. but i left it only to be changed into someone uglier. now, i'm going back to the group of company that changed me. cuz that's where i realised i find my real joy in it.

everything is falling back into place as it seems. but it's too early to say. yes, i'm beginning to re-live the moment. as far as i'm controlling not to be too materialistic, these materials just keep coming. i think it's ok once in a while to enjoy them right? hahas. next week or the week after is gonna be a very exciting week for me.

it's gonna be funny that it will be at a place where we all use to think that it's wrong to go. doing things that we used to think it's wrong to do. but it's all under the same company.

give me 14 days. i will be proud to announce something..............

and i'm still shitting rather abnormally.